Akatsuki Interview
by Akagekkou Maslyn
Summary: All I can say for the summary is RANDOMNESS ALERT! Its just what would happen if me and my friend Callie tried to run a talk show with naruto characters and sometimes other random people. Just read its really funny at least to me it is .
1. Chapter 1

Part 1 of how many I feel like making

Aka: Welcome to the Akatsuki interview we have *looks around* wait a sec CALICO come on you were suppose to bring them out.  
Calico: Sasori put me in a frickin' kimono and I can't get it off *kicks Deidara on stage for no reason*  
Aka: well just come out in it or untie it duh.  
Calico: I change my mind I'll just come out with it their all staring at me wait a sec, AKA did you steal my frickin' katana again.  
Aka: OK I better not answer that so Deidara why do you have palms on your hands *starts laughing realizing I screwed up what if tried saying then lays head down but accidently hits it* OW! *still laughing*  
Deidra: you're an idiot aren't you?  
Calico: *runs to aka and attacks* give me my frickin katana  
Aka: ow, ow, ow, gun in my back pocket get off me.  
*Itachi pulls her off and hands her the katana*  
Aka: hey that took me hours to steal *fires gun at Itachi but misses and shoots one of Sasori's puppets*.  
*runs off stage Sasori and calico following her you hear an explosion then they all come out*  
Aka: what the fuck Deidara don't leave your exploding clay lying around you blew Tobi's arm off literally or killed him. *Tobi comes out with no blood coming from his dismember arm or where the arm use to be*  
Tobi: *attacks Deidara* what the heck you trying to kill me?  
Deidara: woo I thought you were a good boy.  
Tobi: Tobi was a good boy but now he's a mad boy.  
Aka:*tries shooting the gun upwards to quiet everyone but accidently shoots the light and the curtain catches on fire and sighs* Maybe I should leave firing guns to Calico? Man I'm dead meat I probably got to pay for the damage now. Ok they'll be a new one with hopefully an actual interview so they might be in cages for right now I better figure out how to get this fire out and make sure none of them are dead especially since we never introduced Kisame, Pein, Konan, Orochimaru, and Sasuke just to see what happens. Bye and please review I want to see how bad my first show sucked tune in next time.  
*curtain closes but you can still hear voices*  
Calico: *cough* there won't be a next time when I'm done with you.  
Aka: yikes if you're going to be that way I'll get Ema and Madalin to help me *cough* and their only 11 and 4 well we better get out of here.  
Calico: I hate it when you make sense.  
Aka: you also hate it when I kiss Itachi but you don't see me stopping that anytime soon and I hate it when you talk about being pregnant with Gaara's kid so what's your point.  
Calico: And the sense train just left the station known as your brain I'm gonna kill you for that.  
*they both run off and its completely quiet*  
Camera man: what that's all we had 10 more minutes man they suck OH wait it's on fire oh shit I better get out of here. THE END 

*LOL I forgot how funny and random these were and you won't believe how many times I had to correct Deidara's name. Also if it ever says please rate sorry this is like a fixed version of them from my quizilla account. Oh yea if you want to read this from there or my Demon Ninja just PM me ask for my quizilla name in a review.


	2. Chapter 2

Akatsuki Interview part 2

*Well just so you know Ema is well Ema and m is Madalin.

Aka: welcome back.  
Ema: hi ya.  
M: zzzzzz  
Aka: *throws rock at her head* wake up before I throw a kunai and let Zetsu eat you.  
M: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! OK I'M UP I'M UP DON'T KILL ME I'M ONLY 4!!!!!!! Wait whose Zetsu?  
Aka: let's just say he's a cannibal you never want to meet in a dark alley.  
Calico: OK there here now who's gonna get them?  
Calico, Aka. and M: 1, 2, 3, not it.  
Aka: Sorry Ema your it.  
Ema: you guys suck who am I getting?  
Calico: anybody you want.  
*Ema goes backstage where we here fighting, yelling, and cursing then Ema comes back out drenched in blood*  
Ema: they won't come out.  
M: oh my goodness is that your own blood?  
Ema: I don't know.  
Aka: get into some new clothes, put some medicine on your wounds, and then put them in a cage there's a flamethrower back there if you need it.  
Calico: and bring 2 but don't pair 2 enemies.  
Ema: ok *I would if I knew who's who*  
*Ema comes back with a flamethrower with two ashy looking black people beating the living hell out of each other*  
Calico: OH MY GOD who'd you get takes fan to blow away the black ashes to reveal Itachi and Sasuke.  
Aka: I thought we told you not to pair enemies.  
Ema: I thought they were brothers so I thought they'd get along.  
Calico: they are brothers but also worst enemies  
M: well who makes a story where the brothers hate each other

Aka: An awesome one.  
*Sasori, Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi walk in*  
Aka: great you guys are here come on we need somebody to restrain them.  
Deidara: you're joking un.  
Calico: would you rather be hit with a katana.  
Kisame: I'll get Itachi.  
Sasori: no I'll get Itachi you get Sasuke he's weaker.  
Sasuke: who you calling weak you dummy where's your ventriloquist.  
M: just someone get them.  
*Sasori gets Itachi but get flung back hitting aka*  
Aka: where am I? Who am I? Where's where ummm . . . what's going on?  
Deidara: *whispering to Tobi* sweet I think she got amnesia she won't remember she's Itachi's girlfriend watch this.  
Deidara: Yo hunny we were about to go to the art show together un.  
Aka: 0_0 wha . . .  
Itachi: *attacks Deidara* that's my girl you're talking to.  
Sasori: come on let's go to the other room Aka.  
Aka: I thought he was my boyfriend *points to Deidara*  
Sasori: nah their just jokers.  
Itachi:*pulls him over fighting him and Deidara* what the hell is wrong with you guys stay away from her.  
Tobi: you me dinner.  
Aka: HELP I'M CONFUSED!!!!!  
Sasori: *pulls him into the fight* don't you go stealing her I'm stealing her.  
*you hear gunshots as Deidara pulls out a gun*  
Kisame: you freaked out?  
Aka: yes.  
M and Ema: stop fighting each other you man whores.  
Itachi: your 4 and 11 years old you shouldn't know those words.  
M: get over it you little weasel man.  
*calico comes and throws a shuriken at Itachi who then walks off then slaps aka upside the head with the katana*  
Aka: OW what the fuck ahhhhh Kisame *falls over*  
Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi: awe man she got knocked out of it that's just nice.  
*Pein walks in*  
Pain: hey aka want to go to my room some time?  
*Aka kicks him upside the head and starts choking him while all of the Akatsuki try pulling her off*  
Aka: you fucking idiot I'm gonna kill you.  
Calico: ummmm . . . were ending the show early before something happens too graphic or vulgar for young adults.  
*a gun starts firing*  
M and Ema: Deidara is trying to shoot Aka!  
Calico: what in the world is wrong with these people?  
M: close the curtain close the curtain.  
*curtain closes then a gunshot comes through the curtain and shoots the camera man*  
Ema: OH MY GOD he's dead.  
M: OH MY well just go turn off the camera.  
Calico: wait say good- bye first and tune in next time.  
*suddenly Sasuke runs out and tips over the camera breaking the lens*  
Sasuke: uhhhh *kneels to the ground looking into the cracked lens sideways* sorry bye tune in next time  
*Aka runs out chasing a few Akatsuki members with a katana with Calico yelling at her*  
M, Ema, and Sasuke: ya well bye.  
*suddenly Aka runs up saying bye before running off again*  
(a little while after the show)  
Aka: well I hoped you weren't offended by that in any way and I hope you tune in next time I got a project for theater arts due in 4 days I hope I pass or I have summer school see ya.  
*suddenly a katana comes flying the handle nailing her in the stomach*  
Calico: turn that off already.  
Aka: OK, OK but if you hit me with that one more time I'm taking it and you're not getting it back.  
Calico: I'd like to see you try picks up her katana and runs off.  
Aka: get back here. *they start chasing each other*  
*Itachi walks up and sees the camera on*  
Itachi: well they'll be at it a while bye *turns camera off then kills it for no reason if you can kill a camera well actually let's just say he destroyed it*.


	3. Chapter 3

Aka: welcome once again to another interview hopefully it'll actually be an interview.  
*Itachi comes in screaming*  
Itachi: get it off me, get it off, there's something gooey in my Akatsuki robe!  
Aka: I guess you noticed my trick already.  
Itachi: what you'd put in my robe?  
Aka: it's still on you and its peanut butter.  
Itachi: *throws the coat off* Oh I'm gonna ki-  
Sarah: ummmm . . . I believe their here.  
*everybody comes on stage and they look really pissed off*  
Aka: ok Itachi now that everybody's here I'm gonna ask you a question can I borrow your bra?  
*everyone starts laughing at the top of their lungs except Itachi*  
Itachi: sure here you go. *takes a B cup out of his coat*  
Aka: *starts laughing even harder* you actually have a bra.  
*Kisame suddenly runs up to Itachi screaming*  
Kisame: ITACHI HURRY GIVE ME A PAD I STARTED MY PERIOD!  
Aka: ummmm . . . aren't you a boy?  
Kisame: no I'm a prissy little school girl look at me in my little pink fluffy tutu. OF COURSE I'M A BOY WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE A PERIOD!  
Calico: ummm . . . only girls have periods.  
Kisame: I'll go get my tutu.  
Grace: ooooh . . . man Itachi is looking sexy want to come to another room with me.  
*Aka get up and chops Grace's head off*  
Aka: I told her if she said something about my boyfriend . . .  
Fan girls: NO HES OURS!  
*Sarah grabs a flamethrower and torches them*  
Sarah: I might not know a thing about Naruto but I do know I HATE fan girls.  
Aka: as I was saying I told her if she said one more thing about my boyfriend no matter how weird he is she'd die. Oh well no use for this dude now.  
*comes back holding Aoi's head and tosses it to Sasori*  
Sasori: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Get it away get it away from me!  
Calico: oh shut up you make puppets out of dead bodies now you make a head puppet.  
Aka: oh calico Gaara is trying to make Sasuke into a blood buffet.  
Calico: OH NO NOT AGAIN!  
*Two little kids walk in*  
Aka and Itachi: Akagekkou! Yodaime! What are you guys doing your only 3 months old you shouldn't be here.  
Yodaime: shut it.  
Aka: you taught him that.  
Itachi: well it's your fault you named him after the 4th Hokage.  
Aka: that has nothing to do with it and Yodaime is my father. What about Akagekkou her name means bloody moonlight that's crazy.  
Itachi: IT'S YOUR NAME!

Calico: *whispers something to aka*  
Aka: WHAT GAARA KILLED DEIDRA!  
More fan girls: NOOOOO OUR DEIDRA!  
Aka: SARAH HAND ME THE BLOWTORCH!  
*fan girls run away screaming before they could get killed*  
Aka: OK! To morn his death lets go through his stuff.  
Tobi: I call dibs first.  
Aka: I knew that would get rid of him.  
Sasori: hey Aka I got a present for you. *hands her Aoi's head as a puppet*  
Aka: what the hell get it away from me. *drops it and Akagekkou picks it up*  
Akagekkou: ohhhh I'll take it sweet it got poison needles in it mouth.  
Aka: hey come back here your only 3 months how do you even know how to walk.  
Calico: guess I'll take the show.  
Zetsu: no I won't, yes you will, no I won't, yes or you'll die.  
Sarah: what's the matter? *Zetsu tries eating her* Ahhhhhhhhhhh help he's eating me oh fuck HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!  
Calico: I'm disturbed so let's ask a ques-  
*Gaara comes in screaming*  
Gaara: help get him off me he's on my gourd.  
*Yodaime got his teeth stuck in Gaara's gourd while putting water in his sand*  
Yodaime: *muffled by gourd* wa stup rinnign Icun't gut insock (what stop running I can't get unstuck.)  
Calico: oh no just get out and cut his teeth out.  
Yodaime: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!  
*Itachi runs out chasing them before they really do cut his teeth*  
Calico: Ummmmmmm . . . I'm just gonna end the show we've lost like 20 people and about 3,000 fan girls.  
Aka: ya we better close up bye.  
Everyone that left: BBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!


End file.
